Being in love is supposed to be a positive thing, but being in love with two people is frustrating. You can enjoy spending time with someone who you really care about and start working toward building a future together. Is it possible to be in love with two people? Whether it’s possible or not, this has the potential to be disastrous.
When you’re involved in a love triangle, it has the potential to get really messy. You don’t want to hurt someone’s feelings by cheating on them or spurning their advances in favor of someone else. It’s definitely possible to be in love with two people. In fact, there’s nothing unusual about being attracted to more than one person or wanting to act on that attraction.
Depending on what type of relationship you’re in, this just might not be possible. Most people in western cultures practice normal monogamous relationships. This means that you’re supposed to be loyal to one person and show them all of your love/affection. If you feel like you’re in love with someone else while still in a relationship, this can be problematic.
Any type of love triangle situation is going to be tough. Even if you aren’t in a relationship but are merely being courted by two individuals, being in love with two people will be difficult. You don’t want to break anyone’s heart. Even so, you’re going to have to make a choice to resolve this situation.
Being In Love with Two People: How to Determine Whom You Love More?
It is going to be very important to try to determine who you truly love out of the two people that you’re in love with. Though you might be in love with two people, most situations are not going to allow you to keep two lovers. This is definitely seen as taboo in most mainstream cultures, although there are some exceptions that will be discussed later. Regardless, you need to do the right thing for the other people involved in this love triangle.
If you are really in love with two people, then you should want both of them to be happy. If you can’t be with both of them, then the person you don’t choose will be able to move on and potentially find someone else. Trying to maintain a relationship with two people is simply going to drive a wedge between you and the others that you’re dating. If you aren’t honest about it, then those lies are going to catch up with you eventually.
Try to think about how you feel about each of them. Examine your feelings and take the time to see whether or not you really feel as strongly about one partner as you do the other. It’s possible that you might simply be physically attracted to one of them rather than truly being in love with two people. Being able to differentiate between love and lust is important in a situation like this.
You also want to be honest with what you want out of life, especially if you love two people. If you’re looking to be involved in a committed relationship that has some type of future, then you need to make a choice. If you aren’t looking for a commitment, then you might be able to get away with just casually dating people. The fact that you feel like you’re in love with two people means that you likely want something deeper than a casual fling, though.
Be Honest and Decide Between Your Two Love Interests
Being honest about your feelings is important but you also need to be honest with your partners. If you’re actually dating one of these two people, or both of them, then you need to own up to it. Tell them the truth about the situation that you’re in. It might wind up leading to you losing one or both of these people if you haven’t been honest in the past. Honesty is one of the most crucial parts of maintaining a healthy relationship.
If you can’t be honest with the people that you love, then you might not need to be in a committed relationship right now. Being lied to hurts and you don’t want to put someone that you care about through a painful situation that they don’t deserve. Love is about more than your own happiness. The happiness of the people that you love should also concern you and you need to take their feelings into account.
What about when two people are in love with you?
When you’re single and you have two people in love with you, the situation is understandably different. You might be choosing between two people who are interested in entering a committed relationship with you. Choosing might be difficult if you feel like you are in love with two people. Can you be in love with two people? Yes, but that doesn’t mean that you can make it work with both men or both women.
If you need to make a choice between two people, then you need to start thinking with your heart. Do you feel stronger about one person than you do the other? Are your life goals in better alignment with one of your potential partners than they would be with the other one? Think about all of the factors that are involved and then make your final choice.
Whatever you do, just don’t lie to the people that you’re with. You place your trust in people when you’re dating them and you don’t want to betray someone’s trust for no reason. You might be in a tough position if your feelings are torn. Just don’t take too long to make a decision and always be open with what’s going on with your potential love interests.
In Love With Two People: What are my options?
It’d be wrong not to mention that there are groups of people who would be totally fine with having multiple love interests at once. In modern times, there is an increasing number of people who practice open relationships. There are those who question whether or not monogamous relationships are truly the right way to go. For some people, open relationships are preferable.
An open relationship can come in many different forms. One example of an open relationship structure is where two people are allowed to date others. They might be very committed to one another long-term but will still allow each other to explore other love connections outside of the confines of their relationship. These types of relationships may not be seen as typical. Some people might even find them to be immoral, but that’s up to the individual to decide and isn’t anyone’s business besides those who are involved in the relationship.
Another type of relationship that is sort of similar is the concept of polyamory. This involves people having multiple romantic partners at once. Polyamorists are considered to be a sexual minority in America. This isn’t a typical situation and it’s even somewhat legally ambiguous. Practicing polyamory presents many potential legal problems such as child custody issues, housing law problems, and being accused of adultery or bigamy.
You likely already know that it’s illegal to be married to more than one person at once in America. This alone is reason enough for many people to shy away from the concept of polyamory. Whether or not this is a good idea isn’t being put into question. You should simply know that there are those who are accepting of the idea of being in love with two people.
If you’re still having problems figuring out what you need to do, then it’s possible that turning to an online therapist might help you. You might feel depressed or overwhelmed about having to decide between two potential love interests. Just about anyone would feel stressed out in this situation and you might need someone to talk to in order to work things out in your head. The problem is that you might not be comfortable discussing this with a family member or friend.
Having a conversation with an online therapist is a great way to work things out discreetly. These online therapists are fully licensed and are ready to help you out as soon as you make contact. They can simply listen to you and then provide the best advice based on their years of training. Therapists know how to help you work through problems while learning about what is causing issues in your life.
Whenever you’re going through anxiety issues or bouts of depression, an online therapist will be there to make sure that you get through everything okay. One of the best reasons to rely on online therapists is that they are always available. They don’t make you adhere to regular office hours to get help. You’ll be able to talk to them whenever you’re in need and they’ll provide you with the best possible care.
6 Things To Do If You Are In Love With Two People
Being in love is brilliant, right?
But… what if it’s not that simple?
What if you are in love with two people?
Oh boy, that’s a confusing situation to be in, and you might be feeling really torn about how to choose – especially if one of them is already your partner.
We’ll run through some ways to figure out what to do next, but remember that the decision is ultimately yours to make.
1. Consider how you really feel.
First off, you need to figure out how you really feel about these two people. If you think you’ve in love with two people, you need to work out how that is manifesting.
Be honest with yourself – is it love with both of them, or is one lust?
Maybe you’re no longer in love with your partner, if they’re one of the two people, but you’re so used to being with them that you assume you still love them.
2. Question how genuine your feelings are.
Feelings are confusing, and they can appear for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes, they’re genuine and reflective of what’s really going on. Other times, they’re not real – but they still tell us something valid.
If you’re in love with two people, you might be trying to fill what is missing in one person with the idea of the other.
For example, your boyfriend might be great, but never has sex with you. The guy at work you fancy would definitely have sex with you, so you’re projecting that need onto him and your mind is convincing you that you’re in love with him – when, really, you just want to have sex!
On a deeper level, if your partner can’t give you the emotional support you truly need, you might think you have feelings for the friend who can and does give you that support.
If your feelings for one person are quite rocky at times, you might really like the idea of stability. This can cause you to look for that quality elsewhere, and might mean that you then fantasize about a person who can give you that stability.
The worse things get with your partner, the more you crave someone who can make you feel secure, and the more likely you are to transfer that need onto someone else, and then convince yourself that you have feelings for them.
Of course, your feelings for both people might be very real! You might genuinely be in love with two people – but what kind of love is it?
3. Figure out what type of love you are feeling.
We all love different people in different ways, whether it’s a friend, family member, or romantic partner.
Each romantic relationship we have will be different, and we’ll feel and act differently because of that. Our personalities can shift when we’re with certain people, as they may bring out different traits in us.
Every relationship evolves over time, too, and the type of love you had with your partner five years ago is likely to be different to the type of love you have with them now.
If you think you are in love with two people at the same time, you need to figure out what kind of love you have for them both before you can know how to handle it.
Familiar love is the kind of love you’ll probably feel if you have been with someone for a while.
It’s comfortable, and you both know each other really well. You’ve seen each other at your highest and lowest point, and there’s a lot of trust and companionship.
The excitement might have gone slightly though – there’s not much left to do for the first time anymore, and that can make the love feel a bit dull or boring.
People who are in this kind of relationship might start to wonder what else is out there, or feel as though they are only still together because of the history they share with each other.
Romantic love is often referred to as the honeymoon phase. You’re in a relatively new relationship but you’ve both established where you stand.
Things are great – you have a lot of fun together, everything is still exciting, and you feel really positive about where it’s all going.
You still have a lot of sex, cuddles, romantic date nights, and a loved-up life together. There are plans for the future, but there’s no pressure for things to move quickly and you’re just enjoying spending time together.
Sexual love is one of the ones that can make things confusing. It’s something that you can experience with someone outside your relationship, which is often why people find themselves in love with two people at a time.
Sexual love is exactly how it sounds – it’s a type of lust, and it mainly focuses on sexual attraction and compatibility.
The desire for this kind of love with someone other than our partner often occurs when it is missing from our relationship.
It might be that we’ve not had sex with our partner for a while, or no longer feel sexually attracted to them. As such, we are drawn to that energy with someone else, and project feelings of love onto them out of our desire to be desired.
Idealistic love is one of the most common types of love in this situation. As we mentioned earlier, this is when you fall in love with the idea of someone and not the reality of them.
This can happen when you are feeling unfulfilled in your relationship for whatever reason.
We often attach ideals to someone based on very little awareness of what they are really like. We might see someone physically attractive and assume that they will also be sweet and funny and charming, without any knowledge of their actual personality type. This causes us to fall in love with the idea of them, rather than the reality of them.
4. Consider who you are most compatible with.
Think about who you are most compatible with and how things could work on a practical level. Think about what you want the relationship to look like, and who your best match is.
Maybe the partner you’re with isn’t someone you see yourself in a relationship with long-term because you have such different goals and values, and the other person is much more aligned with what you want from a long-term partner.
Equally, maybe you’ll realize that one of the people you are in love with is very attractive and exciting, but wouldn’t be stable enough and good at communicating for anything long-term.
This will really challenge you, and you will need to be brutally honest with yourself.
Remember that neither of the people you are in love with a need to know about your pro/con list, so you can be as open and vulnerable with yourself as it takes to make a decision.
5. Work out what you really want from life.
You might currently feel like you only have two options – partner one or partner two.
This can make things tricky, as you’re choosing between two specific people with specific sets of personality traits.
Rather than focusing on what these two people can offer you, think about what you actually want, independently from these two ‘options.’
Make a list of all the things you would like in a relationship – not just from the relationships that are available to you right now.
You might realize that one person already ticks all the boxes, or you might discover that neither of them are actually what you genuinely want.
When we are in love with two people, we get so caught up in choosing between the two of them that we forget about that rest of the world!
Don’t limit yourself – you might be in love with two people because neither of them can provide everything you want or need.
That means that neither of them are quite right for you, so you can start to look elsewhere and find someone who is enough for you in their one person, thus eliminating your need to fill someone’s void with someone else.
6. Be honest with them – both of them.
This might not be an option for you, for a number of reasons, but we would urge you to consider it if you can.
Being honest might mean telling your partner you have feelings for someone else. This is very difficult as it is similar to admitting to an emotional affair.
You will need to think carefully about the best way to approach it, and take their feelings into consideration.
If you’re not in a relationship with either of them, this will be easier but still challenging, so take your time.
If you are trying to choose between two people, it is unfair to keep them both dangling on a string while they wait for you to make a decision.
By telling them how you feel, you are letting yourself be vulnerable, which can feel very scary. Remember that you are doing this out of respect for them, and, if they are worth your time, they will try to understand that and let you come to your own decision.
Using articles like this for self-reflection, talking to loved ones you trust, and considering counseling for an objective opinion are all options to consider.
Prioritize yourself and trust your gut – you already know what the answer is.