fbpx

How to stop yourself from stalking your ex on social media

Social media has made it easier than ever for us to give in to this nosiness of trying to find out what’s going on in our ex’s life but you can actually stop yourself from stalking your ex on social media. With a few taps we can go onto someone’s profile and get an impression of what they have been up to. New information enables us to make new judgments, and we become invested in what we can deduce from the information online.

In particular, there is often an overwhelming temptation to online stalk an ex. When you are in a relationship with someone, you have a connection. Regardless of the nature in which your relationship with them ended, you will be feeling the loss (whether good or bad) of this connection and you constantly see yourself developing the habit to always stalk them helplessly without knowing how to stop yourself from stalking your ex on social media.

Online, however, you will still be ‘connected’. Keeping up with your ex online is an (albeit cheap and far from substantial) way to cling on to this connection.

Thus it prevents you from moving on, since you can’t stop yourself from stalking your ex on social media. In this, it stems your personal development and growth beyond the relationship and blocks your path to learning how to live independently of your ex.

It is also unhealthy for you because it allows you to constantly compare yourself to others because you find it hard to stop yourself from stalking your ex on social media. Perhaps you are looking at photos of their new partner, or comparing how well they seem to be coping with your own reality. Either way, this is a time and thought consuming habit which negatively impacts your self esteem.

A person’s social media profile – an often carefully curated collection of information and images – is far from an accurate depiction of their life. Looking at their page may make you feel like they are having fun and are happy all the time, whilst you yourself are struggling. This is almost certainly not the case. Social media cannot capture everything and people are only going to show off the good times. They are likely experiencing the same difficulties as you are but because you have not mastered the habit of knowing how and when to stop yourself from stalking your ex on social media, you will keep feeling otherwise for them.

Even if we do understand that social media is a carefully framed narrative and not an accurate diary, constantly checking to see what your ex is up to is not a healthy habit; and learning how to stop yourself from stalking your ex on social media will be the best thing you can do for your self-esteem. You need to learn to live without them, and so-called ‘stalking’ their profile weekly is not going to let you do that.

The vast quantity of information at our fingertips that social media gives us can have an almost addictive quality. When it allows us to hold onto something we have just lost, this addiction just becomes even worse. It is understandable why we would want to stalk an ex, but for our own health and happiness, we must stop yourself from stalking your ex on social media.

So how can we avoid the temptation to stop yourself from stalking your ex on social media? Of course, the best way to remove your ex from your feed is to “unfollow” them. However, if you and your ex want to remain friends, this is not the solution for you. Instead, hide their posts and stories from your feed, until you know that you will not be so affected by them.

Furthermore, spending time away from your phone would be no bad thing. Log off for a bit and spend time rediscovering hobbies and activities you enjoy, or being with friends. Give time back to yourself, so that it can be easy for you to stop yourself from stalking your ex on social media.

 

5 ways to stop yourself from stalking your ex on social media

 

So you’ve recently broken up with your ex. How do I know? Because the chances that you’re stalking them on social media are highest if you’ve broken up in the last 3-6 months. You think about them all the time fervently hoping for a sign that they miss you and think about you. Even if your ex was a complete jerk you want a sign that they are miserable without you because that would mean you can gloat with satisfaction!

But wait! Take a moment and think…have you ever seen anyone pouring their heart out on social media about how miserable they are? NO. People always post about how rocking their life is even though the real picture might be different. For all you know, you might have done the same to make YOUR ex jealous! So, don’t you think that when you stalk your ex on social media you’re actually setting yourself up for more misery and knowing how to stop yourself from stalking your ex on social media will be the best?

 

Stop this self-punishment today! We tell you how!

Yes, you ARE addicted – addicted to obsessing about him/her; addicted to not feeling so alone while you have their profile in front of you; addicted to the firing of neurons in your brain that only remind you of the good times you had with your ex. So you need to fight this like you’d fight any addiction. By not giving in to urges and by removing all cues that prompt addictive behavior. You will also need to remember at all times that urges come and go like waves and each intense wave peaks in an average duration of 3 minutes. So the next time you get the urge to check their Facebook or Instagram profile, distract yourself for just 5 minutes, and in all likelihood the urge will pass, until the next time, little by little you will learn how to stop yourself from stalking your ex on social media.

 

Think negative

You need to deliberately remind yourself of all the right reasons you broke up for.

Yup, you heard that right. Remember we said that when you stalk your ex you’re only reminded of the good times and it makes you long for them? Guess what? That’s an illusion. So, every time you feel like you miss them, you need to deliberately remind yourself of all the right reasons you broke up for and for which the relationship didn’t work, with this constant practice you will notice that gradually, you are learning to stop yourself from stalking your ex on social media.

 

Think of it as an exercise regime

So when you start a workout program to get in shape, it’s so punishing in the beginning but when you see your figure turning svelte in the mirror you start enjoying it. You have to do the same thing. Keep a calendar at your desk and give yourself a gold point for each day you exert self-control and learn to stop yourself from stalking your ex on social media.

At the end of every week treat yourself with something good. Gradually increase that duration to two weeks, three weeks, and a month. By the time you get to a month, you’ll need much less restraint!

Go cold turkey

If you really want to stop, this is one drastic step you’ll have to take. Unfollow their news feeds, unfriend from everywhere. In fact for some time unfollow the newsfeeds of your mutual friends too so that you’re not tempted. We know you’ll be tempted to revert on the action, but even if you do, go ahead and unfollow again, such will help you so that you can stop yourself from stalking your ex on social media.

 

Be kind to yourself

So be kind to yourself and forgive yourself for small slip-ups.

All said and done, learning how to stop yourself from stalking your ex on social media will be like going on a diet. It will require discipline and self-control and will be difficult. But as long as you remember that all behavior can be modified and that each habit or craving is temporary, you can win this. And when you’ve followed a diet for 20 days but cheated for one day, it doesn’t mean that the hard work of those 20 days goes waste. It’s still made a difference. So be kind to yourself and forgive yourself for small slip-ups. It will make it easier!